Seeking Divine Intervention

To understand what this means:

“I am conservative with a modern outlook”

Him

I asked him who he was. And he replied that he:

• lives in a 5 bed room villa in Bangalore
• drives a jaguar land rover
• wears Louis Vuitton jackets
• uses Rolex
• prefers Hugo Boss or Chanel deodorant
• And, wears Tag Heuer sunglasses

And I said, “adiós”.

AdWords & Irony

AdWords & Irony

Listlessness & Lasagna

As she was sitting in Little Italy waiting for her Lasagna, her thoughts wandered. She wanted to put the blame on something or someone. Should she put on him? Or herself? Or some other thing like fate? A glass of red wine had just become less engaging. That didn’t stop her from taking a sip though.

She felt low, but “given how it ended, that’s expected” she thought. Why things get complicated? However hard she thought, whatever she felt was utterly simple which others are supposed to understand/accept. It was from her heart and it was pure, so it should be easy for others to comprehend. But they didn’t. That left her in dismay, in addition to the deep pain that she was feeling. She had even tried to explain to them, they wouldn’t listen. She felt as if she is locked in a room without an exit. She felt tortured.

Lasagna was served. She didn’t know whether to eat or to sip the red wine. She just kept staring at them for a long time.

Misspelt?

Akshay Kumar has become the ‘Super Star’ as one of his idiotic movies made enough money. This seems to be the definition. So, Star Gold channel is celebrating this by broadcasting series of Akshay’s movies. They (SG) are running an advert where several other “stars” talk about Akshay. And Sunil Shetty has this to say about Akshay:

Akshay practices….thinks….He trains….thinks….He is a natural

Now, that makes me wonder whether a genuine error was made when Sunil was given his last name!

“It took place almost exactly one year ago“

Italian Shelby?

Some idiot (his name had ‘Chibber’, I remember that much) who reviews movies in The Hindu thinks this is a Ferrari.

Ps: This is when he reviewed the movie ‘The Bucket List’. He also claimed in that review that the movie was somewhat less enjoyable as Freeman and Nicholson played roles that are close to their nature. And so, he professes that they should have exchanged roles. On what basis he writes reviews, I wonder!

Work-life balance (WLB)

I’ve always felt it is a HR gimmick..They need to digest their pay check, so they have to yap some bull shit – WLB is one of those. Otherwise, how would HR approve the following work routine?

• Wake up at around 6.15 AM…
• Be at bus station by 7.00-7.15 AM (mind you, that’s the only time ‘the transport’ is available)
• Reach work place by 8.45-9.00 AM…yeah, my city sleeps till 9.00 AM at the minimum, so don’t think about eating something till 9.00 AM.
• Wait for others to come to conduct any meaningful/dumb discussion (others stay farther than me, so they’ll check in by 9.45-10.00AM)
• Finish reading whatever you read (remember, ‘newspaper time’ in the morning doesn’t exist anymore).
• Or write blog posts
• Or sit in dumb meetings without opening your mouth
• Or conceive grand plans to save the world (yes, the ‘team’ is the world for us!)
• Go to lunch – and yes, wait in the longish queue or choose to eat shit to avoid it (not that the food you get by standing in the queue is great, but it is a ‘meal’ at the least)
• Do some more – write more blog posts or read someone else’s posts – RSS is there to make it easier and more addictive
• Have some snacks in the middle if possible
• Ah yes, cut cakes for doing what you are supposed to do (irrespective of whether it is done well or not)
• Last but not the least, sing “happy birthday” to tom dick and harry
• Smoke all the time
• And lo, it is 4.00-4.30PM already! And so, pack your bags while reminding yourself the amount of work to be done within that day. Leave the office premise, with a good feeling that you are moving away from a low quality construction
• Reach home after an hour’s time (minimum)
• Logon from there, try to do as much as you can
• Feel tired and realize that life is fucking futile.
• Go to bed by 1.30-2.00AM
• Wake up at around 6.00 AM
• wait! I have covered that already!!!
• (Alternatively, you can move your life to some corner of the city and stay away from the things you like.)

This hurts when you are trying to hire someone for your organization and yak crap about us providing flexible work culture! After you finish, you wonder how the HR girl will be boasting about the fantastic Work-Life Balance that the organization will offer. Irony.

As I…

…sit in the car and pass through the gory details of the city for hours, I realize I am on my way to work and I am going to be on my way back pretty soon! Sigh!

Now…

…this!